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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125464">You say you want your freedom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayellowcurtain/pseuds/ayellowcurtain'>ayellowcurtain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>WTFock | Skam (Belgium)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:54:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayellowcurtain/pseuds/ayellowcurtain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sander is going away for two weeks to do some college stuff with his teacher. He doesn't tell Robbe right away, but he needs time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here we go with another angsty-prompt based fic! I'm happy the way this one is turning out, so hopefully I won't ruin it :D<br/>Come talk to me on tumblr! @ayellowcurtain</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robbe could recognize his own symptoms: back to overthinking everything, feeling the urgent need to always do the right thing for everyone. He wishes it was easy to change his mindset and start acting normally again, but everything was pilling up and he exploded with the one person he knows he shouldn’t. It wasn’t even a big fight, Robbe thinks he knows a thing or two about how those really are, based on the years he had hearing his parents fight and then fighting with his dad for leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he could tell Sander didn’t like the way Robbe lashed out on him after another day of Robbe working very hard editing a video for Jens until late at night, watching his friends having fun without even inviting him, just sending him the videos for him to edit for their stupid channel. Sander made a joke about how Robbe was still Jen’s horny lapdog and he lost it, saying he was just trying to help his stupid friend get his dumb video uploaded and for Sander to stop acting like Robbe was the one horny for someone else back in the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the look Sander gave him after and the hours-long silence was more than enough signs for Robbe to understand he had overreacted and that’s an understatement. Sander barely talked to him, they slept apart from each other on Robbe’s bed and when he woke up, Sander was gone. No note, no text, he left without saying goodbye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a little upset to be left behind like that, but he didn’t argue, looking at his phone for a minute before sending a few texts to his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>to Sander:</b> <em><span>hey</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry about last night. I was so stupid and didn’t mean what I said.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was just angry and lashed out on you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let me know when you’re free and if I can go to your place tonight… </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you, Sander </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robbe waited, biting his nails, but Sander didn’t respond right away. He checked his phone again when he got up, a few times during breakfast and one time before shower and another one before leaving the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sander hadn’t responded, he hadn’t even read the message, any of them. He’s not one to make Robbe wait for a reply, but Robbe tries not to think about it while in school, trying to focus on his classes. He walks to his bike with Jens, but he doesn’t feel like talking. He’s done with the video and today he just wants to fix things with Sander. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He read the messages he sent again when he gets home, walking around in circles inside his bedroom not to worry his mom. It was dumb to invite himself to go to Sander’s place and Robbe feels self-conscious, thinking about deleting that message since Sander hasn’t read any of them yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robbe sits on his bed when he starts getting dizzy after walking for so long in such a small space. He doesn’t want to talk to his mom, to answer her million questions if he tells her what happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does all his homework for the week, checks his notes from every class, and checks his phone every five minutes. At least he’s ahead with everything for the next few days, able to spend time with Sander whenever he feels like it, and also has the time. It’s almost the end of the semester and he knows Sander needs some free time these days, not thinking about drawing for once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robbe eats his food slowly, trying very hard to act normally around his mom, asking how her day went, how was therapy. Robbe tells her his homework is basically done for the week and that his head is hurting a little so he’ll go to bed early. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She grabs their empty plates and kisses Robbe’s head on her way to the sink, saying he can go rest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You deserve it, honey.” She says, playing with his hair and leaving an extra kiss before moving on to clean the rest of the table. Robbe would usually help her anyway, but he accepts the help and drags himself back to his bedroom just in time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles at his phone, accepting the video call while he locks his bedroom door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you…” he tries not to sound worried for just hearing from Sander almost 12 hours since this morning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi…” Sander doesn’t look or sound too excited to talk to him. Robbe explains to himself in his head it’s because he’s probably tired, overwhelmed with the end of the semester. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was your day?” Robbe sits on his chair, paying attention to his boyfriend. His hair is getting a little long again, like an aura around his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Long, exhausting.” Sander sighs, dropping his bag on the floor, taking his jacket off, changing his phone from one hand to the other. Robbe bites his lip not to invite himself to go to Sander’s place again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you get my texts...? I think my phone is dying, might have to buy a new one soon.” Robbe smiles, even though his phone is working just fine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm, yeah, yeah, I did.” Sander throws himself on his bed, sitting, finally giving Robbe his full attention back, putting his head against his hand, messing his hair a little bit to push it away from his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong...?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. It’s just that I have to go away for a few days. My teacher needed an assistant for this trip for his exhibition.” Sander sounds annoyed, tired, but also like he decided to go, just letting Robbe know about it before leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When...are you guys going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow, first thing in the morning,” Sander says, avoiding to meet Robbe’s eyes, busying taking his boots off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re leaving...without even saying goodbye.” Robbe swallows his opinions about it, hating how low and upset he sounds and he knows Sander noticed because he looks up right away, holding his phone again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robbe. It’s just for two weeks. We’ve been apart for long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t stop complaining about it during the quarantine.” Sander doesn’t answer, he sighs, annoyed, looking elsewhere and Robbe wants to ask him to look at him and tell the truth, but also apologize if Sander didn’t get that he’s sorry already. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’ll be good for us...two weeks apart.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robbe frowns, caught by surprise with Sander’s word. He never thought Sander needed some time apart, two full weeks apart by his choice, “You really think that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As I said, it’s just for a few days.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need time, okay. Sorry. You need time and I’ll wait.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being dramatic.” Sander breathes out laughter that doesn’t meet his worried eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not. What else can I say? Don’t go because I don’t want to? It seems like a good opportunity and if you say you need time, you need time. That’s it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robbe looks at his empty glass on his nightstand, gently touching it, following the circle at the top, trying to keep himself together. He was an asshole, but he didn’t think it was this big. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be back in two weeks, okay?” Robbe can’t talk anymore or he’ll cry so he just nods his head and Sander smiles sadly at him, ending the call. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p>It’s been five days. Yeah, Robbe is actually doing a countdown. He doesn’t really have to, based on the number of times he checks his phone to see the day and the amount of time he goes to Sander’s Instagram or their conversation. </p><p>He’s been trying to be patient and understands he brought this upon himself, but it doesn’t make it less painful. The cold shoulder behavior he’s been receiving for the past...well, five days. Robbe is ignoring all of it, still texting Sander all day long like he would if they were talking. </p><p> </p><p><b>to Sander:</b> <em>I think I got a good grade on today’s test. I hope I did, don’t feel like studying anymore. </em></p><p>
  <em> Hope you’re having fun &lt;3 I miss you  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You would laugh at me if you were seeing this. I tried making that pasta you taught me. I mean...it’s eatable so that’s good?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> My mom said it’s delicious and for me to thank you for teaching the recipe. But she’s my mom so I can’t take her word for it, I think it turned out okay  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He stares at his screen, bitting the corner of his bottom lip, his arms a little tired from being up in the air, holding his phone for so long, rereading the messages he sent today. He types the last one for the night. </p><p> </p><p><strong>to Sander:</strong> <em> I’m going to bed now, wishing you were with me. I love you &lt;3  </em></p><p> </p><p>And he puts his phone on airplane mode, checking his alarm for the next morning before putting his phone down on the nightstand, far away enough that he can’t reach easily if he decides to text Sander in the middle of the night, asking to talk just to be ignored one more time. </p><p>He hasn’t been sleeping well, starting to worry the second he puts his head on his pillow every night, overthinking everything he said, afraid his words were enough to make Sander change his mind and break up. </p><p>He has a few more tests, and some assignments to give to his teachers, but in every free minute that he has, Robbe is checking his phone, knowing what he’ll find: his messages with no answer. Sometimes Sander will at least read them, but he never answers properly. He likes Robbe’s messages or sends a few emojis that can have so many interpretations. </p><p>The school is his main focus during the weekdays, his only way to worry about something else other than his relationship, but he does everything automatically not needing to use much of his brain: wakes up, eats breakfast with his mom, goes to school, does whatever test he has, leaves his assignments, watches classes, gets on his bike and goes home. </p><p>He doesn’t feel like skating and spending his time with the boys these days. It’s stupid, but he gets even angrier if he remembers what Sander said and his reaction. So he decides to leave Aaron, Moyo, and Jens be for now.  </p><p>Robbe moves to his side under the sheets, opening Instagram again. It’s Friday night, finally, and Jens insisted on him to go with them to this new bar close to his place, but Robbe was tired after so many tests and he wanted to be alone. Or with Sander, but that he couldn’t do. </p><p>Sander posted a piece of art earlier and tagged some of his friends in it. Robbe opens every one of the links in hopes to find a story or a picture with his boyfriend in it. He leaves the worst one for last. And of course, that’s where he finds something. </p><p>Adi posted a bunch of videos during the whole afternoon. Robbe rewatches them more times than he should, just to hear his boyfriend’s voice or to see his blurry smile when Adi films him looking at some art, his favorite camera under his arm and around his neck, laughing over his shoulder to look at Adi when he’s making fun of how Sander would rather look at more art in their free time instead of going out for some drinks. </p><p>Robbe didn’t know Sander’s friends were going and he can’t stop himself from wondering why they could go and that wasn’t even offered to him. He stops before he can start disliking Adi even more for no reason other than the boy is not his fan either. He opens the stories again and tries to take a screenshot of Sander’s smile, his messy hair that’s needing a haircut if Sander’s words are something to go by. </p><p>Robbe keeps his opinions to himself for four more days, trying not to let Adi get under his skin with all the stories, all about Sander. Or the pictures he posts of all of them at a bar late at night, smiling from ear to ear. He knows part of all these posts is to annoy him. That’s what Adi does, he doesn’t like Robbe and he’ll make sure to piss him off whenever he can. Showing off how Sander is having fun with him and the boys. </p><p> </p><p><b>to Sander: </b> <em> ’m happy to s you and Adi aer having fun. Hope he wont maaAke you hate me:)  </em></p><p> </p><p>Robbe texts his boyfriend on the tenth night when he’s drunk after going out with the boys because they wouldn’t let him go home yet again. He’s struggling to change to go to bed, wishing he had warmer, stronger hands to help him with that. Robbe won’t get an answer and he’ll be hungover the next morning so he turns his phone off and passes out on his bed. </p><p>It feels like he blinked his eyes and when he opens, his mom is carefully putting a big bottle of water on his nightstand and leaving him be for a little longer. Robbe lifts his arm, feeling it so heavy and tired, but he manages to grab the bottle, turn to his side and drink half of it, hoping it’ll help. </p><p>He can’t put it back on the nightstand so he leaves the water on the floor and falls asleep again. Using his hand to cover his eyes, wanting to cry and call Sander to break things up already if that’s why he’s trying to do with this stupid silence.</p><p>His phone lightens the room suddenly and Robbe opens his eyes, trying to understand where the light is coming from. He looks around himself, everything is exactly as messy as he left it so he puts his head down, staring at his phone until the light fades back to black. He stretches his phone and finds it, letting his arm fall back on the mattress with the phone. His eyes are fighting to close again, but Robbe presses his fingers on the sides of his phone to see what’s going on. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> earthlingoddity tagged you in a photo </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That’s unexpected, but Robbe clicks on the notification, rubbing his eyes with his other hand to wake up enough to see what he posted. </p><p>He clicks on Sander’s username, opening his feed to make sure he saw it right. A picture of him that Sander took and never showed him. He can post a picture of Robbe, but not reply to his messages. </p><p>It’s ridiculous how fast his half-asleep, deprived of touch body responds to the caption Sander wrote underneath the picture. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I keep my visions to myself </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It's only me who wants to </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Wrap around your dreams and </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Robbe lies on his back, reading the caption a few times. It’s not even that sexual, but it feels like it. He opens their conversation, still no new message from Sander so he closes it again, opening the camera. Looking at himself, the sheets falling closely around his legs, Robbe thinks about being stupid and reckless and <em> desperate </em>. </p><p>Maybe that will make Sander reply to him for once. Letting his rush of adrenaline take over, Robbe lifts the sheets, looking at the door to make sure it’s closed. He’s harder than he anticipated which is a little embarrassing considering that absolutely nothing happened, but fuck it. He takes the picture of his naked torso, his shirt rolling on his chest from him probably moving too much while asleep, his lean, way too skinny legs, and his grey underwear. </p><p> </p><p><b>to Sander:</b> <em>you can’t write things like that </em></p><p> </p><p>And he sends before he can think about it. It’s been a while since they did this. Exchanging photos, but Robbe waits, keeping his phone unlocked. Sander sees the photo right away, but there are no bubbles indicating an answer. </p><p>Robbe lets himself wait for five minutes. Sander liked the photo, but didn’t answer, didn’t send a text. Just like the universe is trying to send a clear message, when his phone hits 12:45, it turns black. </p><p>“Shit…” Robbe slams his phone against the mattress, hating himself for being so stupid and needy. </p><p>Sander really left him on read after that photo. </p><p>Robbe rushes out of his bedroom, clicking on the screen a bunch of times to make sure he’s completely out of battery. His mom doesn’t know his password either so he’s not risking her seeing what he just sent to Sander. </p><p>“Mom?” He finds her in the living room, soft music playing in the background, everything is off the floor so she can clean it. </p><p>“Yes?” She stops her dance party while mopping the floor, turning around to look at him.</p><p>“Can you do me a favor?” Robbe keeps pinching the inside of his cheek with his teeth, the embarrassment still filling his every thought like his mom can see in his face what he did five minutes ago.</p><p>“Of course. What do you need?” </p><p>“I need you to keep my phone hostage for the next 24 hours.” He offers his phone to her, trying not to worry. It’s just 24 hours and Sander hasn’t replied to him in days, it’s not like he’ll miss much if he keeps his distance from his phone for a whole day. She frowns, but smiles softly, holding his phone carefully. </p><p>“Okay…” Robbe smiles at her, and she looks at the black screen, “Can I ask why?” </p><p>Robbe tilts his head, looking around, not knowing what to say, “I just have some important things to do for school and so I need to focus.” </p><p>She doesn’t believe him, keeps staring like she’s waiting for him to tell the truth, but he doesn’t want to and she doesn’t ask either, putting his phone inside her pocket. </p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p>“No problem, sweetie. If you need anything, just ask.” She says and he nods his head, thinking about making them lunch as a thank you, trying to keep his mind away from Sander and how unfair he's being. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for all the comments!! I had no internet this weekend, so didn't really have time to reply to anyone, but I'll try to do that this week &lt;33</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Robbe stops his cart in the middle of the empty aisle, getting his phone from his pocket, unlocking to change to the next Bowie song. He checks the list he made earlier to see what he needs to get after his favorite cookies. </p><p>His mom is gone for the weekend, she even asked him to go with her to visit his grandparents and the city she grew up in, her friends but Robbe was enjoying being alone for the past four days and so he wanted to enjoy the weekend by himself.</p><p>He had completely forgotten about his phone when she handed it back to him before leaving.</p><p>“I’m horrible with numbers, but I think it’s been more than a day,” she said softly and Robbe smiled at her, holding ir carefully, adjusting to the size and weight of his phone, scared to turn it on.</p><p>He left it charging while we went to eat something with Jens around the corner from his house and while he was taking a shower and making the list of the things he would need for the weekend. Knowing his phone existed and was being charged gave him anxiety, worried of what he would find, so he had to look before leaving the house.</p><p>No new messages from Sander, but he posted another photo. Robbe clicked on the notification and he recognized it right away. The night before he met Sander, Moyo had spilled beer on Robbe’s jacket and they had no way of washing and drying his jacket quick enough, so Robbe left his jacket outside that night, using the old fridge as a hanger.</p><p>Sander took a picture apparently, and never showed it to Robbe. He liked the photo and moved on to watching Sander’s stories as he ran downstairs. He saw the big city running past Sander while he was sitting on the train, listening to Fleetwood Mac, one of Robbe’s favorite bands, just a few hours earlier. </p><p>He saw his boyfriend’s eye and the train seat behind him, his hair pecking out of his hoodie on the selfie he posted two hours ago. And the last one was Adi filming Sander sitting right next to him, not as excited or easy to make smile like the other day.</p><p>“Someone’s grumpy today. Missing home, the big baby. Acting like he didn’t have the time of his life with us-” Robbe closed instagram and got on his bike to go buy what he needed.</p><p>After checking the list one more time, Robbe checks the time and day.</p><p>It felt such a long time until this day, until Sander’s arrival and now it feels like he’s not ready to see him again, nervous if Sander will contact him or not, if they’ll keep their distance for longer while living just a few minutes away from each other.</p><p>As the screen is slowly fading back to black, Robbe gets a notification, and another one and another one. He sees Sander’s name for half a second and it’s more than enough for his heart to start beating fast while he presses the button on the side, unlocking his phone and opening their conversation.</p><p>
  <b>to Robbe:</b>
  <em> I’m home</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can we meet? </em>
</p><p>Robbe puts the ketchup inside his cart and stops again, finally texting Sander back, not starting a conversation for once.</p><p><b>to Sander:</b> <em>Yeah </em></p><p>
  <em>I’ll be home in twenty minutes or something. </em>
</p><p>He doesn’t check for what he needs anymore, going straight to the cashier to pay for everything he managed to buy in the time he had before the messages.</p><p>Robbe cannot believe the two weeks long separation is finally over. The cold, minimal answers he got from Sander made him feel unwanted, like he was bothering his boyfriend, asking for attention when he shouldn’t, and Robbe took care of himself in the past few days. Hearing from Sander that he wants to meet is always the best feeling.</p><p>From the time he got the message to him unlocking his house it takes exactly twenty minutes, he checks on his phone to see if he has any spare minutes to take a shower and clean up. </p><p>As soon as he unlocks the door, the intercom rings in the kitchen. Robbe rushes to let Sander in, putting his bag on the counter as he goes back to the door empty handed, holding the door to give himself something to hold on to.</p><p>The elevator is completely quiet, but then Robbe hears quick steps behind the emergency door. They stop for a long moment and Robbe frowns, wondering if he just opened the door to someone else, but then Sander pushes the heavy door open and there he’s, standing across the narrow hallway, surprised to see Robbe there, with the door open.</p><p>“Hey…” Robbe tries, hoping his smile seems more genuine than what it feels. He’s just worried about how things are between them after two weeks apart, the longer they’ve chosen to stay away from each other, ever.</p><p>“Hi…” Sander pushes his bag up on his shoulder. He’s still wearing the clothes from early on the train ride, with his big backpack over his shoulder and a messy hair that Robbe is sure was caused by a little nap against the train window.</p><p>“Did you come straight here?”</p><p>Sander nods his head, finally coming closer, still careful with every tiny step he takes, but Robbe watches him, letting Sander stand right in front of him, so close Robbe has to hold himself not to kiss or hug Sander without his permission.</p><p>But then Sander leans closer, almost brushing their lips against each other and Robbe opens his mouth and closes his eyes instantly, waiting in anticipation for a kiss that never happens, so he sighs, desperate now, one hand cradling Sander’s face and the other arm around his neck, standing on his tiptoes so he can put his hand at the top of Sander’s head, gently holding his hair, feeling how he shakes when he opens his mouth, licking inside his boyfriend’s mouth to see his reaction.</p><p>Sander finally kisses him desperately, one arm around his waist, his fingertips pressing hard against the small of Robbe’s back and the other hand holding the back of Robbe’s shirt tightly, keeping them pressed against each other while Sander walks them inside, closing the door behind him.</p><p>Robbe has to stop the kiss way too early, out of breath, still so relieved they’re good he can’t really focus on anything else.</p><p>“I’m sorry for being an asshole.” Sander says first, pressing his forehead against Robbe’s, kissing his whole face. They’re holding each other so tightly Robbe can feel how fast Sander’s heart is beating, almost as fast as his own. He nods his head, hiding his face against Sander’s neck, smiling from ear to ear.</p><p>“I’m sorry for what I said and for not giving you the space you asked me to.”</p><p>Sander sighs, dropping his bag on the floor to give them some more room to hold on to each other.</p><p>“Please, never give me space. I don’t need it. This was the stupidest idea ever.” Robbe can’t help the relief it is to hear those words coming out of Sander’s mouth, but he looks up anyway to make sure Sander isn’t just saying that to please him, “We have more than enough time away from each other with our different schedules. Being apart for days is a bad idea. I thought I was actually going insane.”</p><p>Robbe smiles, really looking at his boyfriend now, like anything really changed in him in two weeks.</p><p>“I love you, Robbe.”</p><p>He whines quietly, kissing the corner of Sander’s lips, “I love you so much,” Robbe bites the inside of his mouth, trying to find the right words to say, “But whenever you need space, please tell me, okay? And I’ll step back.”</p><p>Sander sighs loudly, rolling his eyes, looking at Robbe with that look that makes all his insides warm and soft like butter.</p><p>“You’re my best friend, you’re the best person I’ve ever met. I like being around you. I liked you since the first second I saw you, even before we were together. I wouldn’t trade my time with you with anything else. Even if we spend the rest of our lives together, it won’t be enough time with you.”</p><p>Robbe closes his eyes, putting his forehead against Sander’s to stop himself from crying. He hugs him tightly again and Sander holds him by his thighs, carrying him inside, kissing his face, whispering sweet nothings to his ear.</p><p>Sander puts him down when they get to his bedroom and Sander starts taking his clothes off to go take a shower. Robbe keeps thinking about Sander and Adi, two weeks together without Robbe in between them, how much he must have annoyed Sander, making him hear all of Adi’s opinions about Robbe.</p><p>“And Adi?” He has to ask and Sander doesn’t flinch, continuing to take his pants off.</p><p>“What about him?”</p><p>“He’s your best friend. And he <em>hates</em> me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for all the comments and the love, everyone! This was so fun to write, thank you, thank you! <br/>Hope you guys enjoy this last chapter &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p>They finally manage to get out of bed after a long time but just because Sander is starving, having not eaten anything all day. While Robbe scans the pantry in search of some quick snacks before they can decide what they’ll order for dinner later, Sander grabs all his dirty clothes to put to wash with the load of Robbe’s that is already inside the washing machine.</p><p>For a few hours, they forgot about the conversation they started earlier, much more concerned about kissing for hours, pulling each other closer, as close as possible, trying to compensate for the two weeks apart.</p><p>Robbe bites the inside of his cheek when Sander comes back empty handed, sitting on the counter while he waits for Robbe, “It probably sucks if your best friend hates your boyfriend…”</p><p>Sander sighs, clearly not feeling like dealing with this again, “<em>You are</em> my best friend, he’ll have to settle with his place,” Robbe opens his mouth, but decides to keep his thoughts to himself for now, “He doesn’t have to like you. I love you and that’s all that matters. And if he has a problem with that, then he’ll have a problem with me.”</p><p>Robbe gets closer, standing in between his legs, gently massaging Sander’s thighs, looking anywhere but at his face.</p><p>“But it’s not that easy. I’m sure he’s not happy with how much time we spend together…”</p><p>“We’re not always together, Robbe. Fuck, and I can’t pretend I don’t love spending my time with you just to please him or anyone. It’s not a problem if I got lucky and got the best friend and boyfriend, all in one person.”</p><p>“Why did you leave then?” Robbe asks quickly, almost over Sander’s words.</p><p>Sander sighs, closing his eyes, leaning down to rest his forehead against Robbe’s.</p><p>“Because I know I can be too much. Too loud, too forward. <em>Too much.</em> And I know that’s not how you do things. I know I suck people’s energy out of them with my chaos.” Sander takes a deep breath in, exhaling slowly through his mouth, “So I decided for the both of us to give us a break from each other, to see if we were not having to mold ourselves too much to be together.”</p><p>“And your conclusion…?” Robbe asks in a whisper, upset that this is the path Sander’s brain can take him sometimes.</p><p>“I don’t think we are. We’re better together, we’re still ourselves without each other, with our friends.” Sander nods his head and Robbe follows, walking back to get them some water and soda inside the fridge.</p><p>“I wish you could have told me that. When you decided we needed time apart. You could have told me what you needed, I wouldn’t lock you inside my house and forbid you to go anywhere.”</p><p>Sander laughs, and Robbe smiles at him, closing the fridge with his foot, putting the cans and bottles right next to Sander on the white counter. Sander slips back to the floor, grabbing all they need for a quiet night locked inside Robbe’s bedroom, taking everything, and putting on his bed while Robbe makes sure the windows are closed and all the lights are off.</p><p>They meet in the hallway, just the dim light of the bedside lamp and the tv inside his bedroom framing both of them with hints of yellow and blue.</p><p>“I thought you were sick of me already, that I had done or said something wrong. I waited for an explanation, but you’re just telling me now, after two weeks of silence.” </p><p>“Hey, look at me. I’m sorry. I’m not the best at thinking before acting sometimes.” Sander pulls Robbe closer by his green sweater, “We’re good together, the best even. We can talk about everything, anything and we’ll enjoy it, it’ll be the best time in our lives. And we can also kiss, cuddle…fuck like nobody else in this world, in any universe.”</p><p>Robbe sighs, putting his forehead against Sander’s shoulder, holding his hand quietly, still feeling every touch like it’s the first after the longest they’ve chosen to be apart. Everything feels new and too familiar at the same time.</p><p>“Stop worrying about Adi. He’s not the easiest person ever, and he’s just doing what he likes to do: annoy people. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you, about us and that won’t make me stop being friends with him. I don’t have to pick between you two, my relationship with you and with him are completely different. You didn’t steal his place, what you have of me was always made to be yours. So stop worrying about it. I can handle Adi, and that’s why he keeps pushing my nerves because he knows when I’m over his bullshit, he’ll be the first one to know”</p><p>Robbe lets himself smile as wide as he wants to, looking up at his boyfriend, a little too proud to hear what he always knew, covering Sander’s mouth with his hand so he doesn’t have to look at that cocky smile while he tries to speak.</p><p>“You are not too much. Don’t say that ever again. I love everything about you, every inch, every idea, every hobby or random idea late at night. I love everything about you. If you say you can handle me and Adi not able to be friends, then I believe you.”</p><p>Sander lifts his eyebrows, holding Robbe by his wrist, slowly pushing his hand down.</p><p>“I can definitely handle you. And your sexy pictures.”</p><p>Robbe had forgotten about that, erased any trace of those pictures from his memory, and phone, pretending it never happened.</p><p>“You weren’t answering me. I got desperate.” </p><p>“You’re so sexy, Robin.” Robbe snorts because he’s so well aware of how not sexy he is. And sometimes he’ll try so he knows how bad it is. </p><p>“Leaving me on read after that was really fucked up, you know?” </p><p>“Oh! So sorry I was busy doing something, not able to use my hands to reply to you…” </p><p>“You were?” Robbe asks, biting his bottom lip, feeling all the blood and heat from his whole body sits on his cheeks and the back of his neck.</p><p>Sander presses his lips together, trying not to laugh and Robbe feels like an idiot, pushing him back.</p><p>“I couldn’t! Robbe! We were sharing a room, and Adi has the worst sleeping schedule. I tried to wait for him to sleep already, but I ended up falling asleep first.” Sander pulls him closer again, kissing his cheek a few times, his eyes still looking at Robbe, “But I liked the photo, yes. I’m sorry I was being an ass and not replying. I just…” </p><p>“Needed time to make sure we are still two different human beings, that we’re not slowly merging into one.” Robbe sighs, smiling softly when Sander bends his knees a little, grabbing Robbe’s ass, picking him up from the floor. </p><p>“Sometimes we are…” He lifts his eyebrows, taking Robbe back to his bedroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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